The word grief is most often associated with the death of a loved one. But we experience grief throughout our lives in other ways and this week I have been able to hold space for several friends going through these “little” losses. Stories of breakups, major life transitions, and loss of friendships have punctuated my week.
First, I want to thank my friends for trusting me with their grief. I want to acknowledge that it takes courage to share struggle with another human and I hope I have cared for your grief in a way that feels helpful to you.
Second, I want to acknowledge that even positive transitions can cause feelings of grief. Even when we can see that moving to a new house will be a better fit, it can also cause us to remember all the good times we experienced in the old house. Even when we know our relationship hasn’t been serving us, it can be hard to let go of someone we have cared for deeply. In case you haven’t given yourself permission to cry, or scream, or take a time out, I want to remind you that those things are crucial components of the grief process and for transition in general.
Third, there will be a time for problem solving, but don’t forget to also experience your human emotions. There is a tendency in our culture to cover up emotions, move on, focus on the positive, and stop the tears. Try not to get on that bandwagon without first hitting the release valve. Letting go of the old is an important step in welcoming the new. Before you get to the move on stage, take a minute to feel. If you are sharing your transitions with me, please tell me if I move to the problem solving and positivity step too soon.
Again, thank you to my friends who have shown me their grief. Your courage gives me permission to show my authentic human emotions too.